As with all forms of social media, Instagram has provided yet another playground for people to act a like a silly fool in the comfort of their own homes. Gather round as I list my six favorite kinds of annoying Instagrammers that have dominated the social web:
1) The Photo Hoarder
No thanks for saving up a year’s worth of photos and then deciding to post them all within the same three minutes. You are helping neither me nor yourself, especially since I now feel morally obligated to never ever “like” anything of yours ever again.
2) The “Notes” Abuser
It’s a widely accepted fact that Instagram is meant for pictures, not words. By writing something in your notes app, taking a screen shot of it, and then sharing it on Instagram, you are essentially breaking into my safe place unannounced and attacking me with a baseball bat full of depressing lyrics and shout-outs. I could totally have you arrested for this.
3) The Obsessive Throwback Thursdaye
Again, invasion of safe zone. If I wanted to see pictures of a skinnier you in a high school soccer jersey, I could just go to Facebook and stalk the living daylight out of you. (Disclaimer: I\ don’t want to do that at all.) Also, please keep in mind that Throwback Thursday and Flashback Friday are the exact same thing. If you are participating in both of these fake social media holidays, I might recommend table tennis, or going outside and attempting at some form of human contact! Or any other kind of hobby really.
4) The Constant Re-grammer
Thanks for reposting that pic of you and your girls out on the town! I didn’t really care about it when your gal pal Sarah posted it originally, but now that you’re posting it I’m totally appreciating its merit!
5) The Text Message Sharer
It’s occasionally okay to take a screenshot of your text conversation and Instagram it, but only under one condition: the text message exchange has to be legitimately funny. This does not include your mom saying something slightly zany or you and your best friend discussing how totally hungover you are. I’m looking for actual comedy here, people. I’m hard to please, I know.
6) The Relentless “Selfie” Poster
At this point, I’ve memorized your bedroom walls, am over-familiarized with your “slight kissy face” look, and have a pretty good grasp on how fast your hair grows. All this and I don’t even know what town you grew up in. Something is dreadfully wrong with this picture, as well as modern technology.